My intention for this article was to share our story of 2021, why I had temporarily stopped writing, but that story shifted into something much deeper. You see we moved this year, and it has been one of the most powerful transformations for our family, a risk we are so grateful for today, and how we got here can only be understood that it was meant to be.
It's funny how life works. Layers upon layers of stories, feelings, friendships, and frustrations form and shape our world, directing us towards and away from choices in our lives.
From Young Adults to Parents
My husband and I grew up here in our 20's, transplants from Ontario and Quebec, and most of our close friends here moved away or remained single and we grew apart. When our family came along, I quickly realized that I would soon need to make new friends, other parents with similar parenting styles whose children all get along. To my huge surprise, that was a more difficult task than expected.
Finding New Parent Friends
I have never had a difficult time making friends in my life, at least until I became a parent! Do you find that too? Everyone I met either took everything too seriously or would drop their kids off and never return the favor. It was never a two-way street and I couldn't connect deeply with anyone! It was an incredibly frustrating and lonely time. I began joining everything I could at the school to meet other engaged parents which was terrific, but their kids were older, their friendships were already established and our family didn't really fit.
I truly did believe though, that at some point we would meet friends through our children, that I just needed to be patient, and when our youngest started hockey, those friendships began to appear. We finally met a group of parents who were kind, fun, liked our boys and were engaged in their children too. Suddenly that parenting loneliness began to subside.
Trusting Your Feelings
When Covid-19 hit in 2020, something felt very out of place, almost wrong where we were living. The lockdown truly forced us to dig deep and explore our feelings, what we wanted in life and what we were missing. While our extended families live 1000's of miles from us, moving closer to them wasn't an option as we would require good jobs and we would be essentially starting from scratch. An experience neither of us was interested in.
When that feeling of uncertainty hit, it came with a LOT of weight. I felt desperate to move, but moving within British Columbia is no easy task.
Living on the west coast of Canada is a challenge for most middle-class families as our housing options are extremely limited and housing prices are astronomical. The dream of owning a single-family home without leaving the province seemed unattainable for years however, the right opportunity magically presented itself, things fell our way and that dream came true.
It was one of our hockey parents who got the ball rolling, convincing us that we needed to move north to where they all resided. While this town is still close to where we work, it was never on our radar as it is farther from a major city. I couldn't get my head around moving north, but after some hard work from our friend, finally, my head was clear.
For years we struggled to make new connections with other parents, our children were not making solid friendships, we had nothing in common with our neighbours, etc. At some point, you need to witness that something isn't right, it's time for a change, we were stagnant. For many years I had limited myself to thinking I would never be able to move and have what I want but I was wrong. The right home came available at a price we could do and by some miracle, we won.
While 2020 was the year the world turned upside down, it was also the catalyst for a beautiful shift in our family! We are surrounded by people who love us and our boys, our children are thriving and happier in school, we are more relaxed and have a fresh new perspective on the next phase in our lives.
Life's Many Lessons
The lesson here is that there is always room for change, there is always a way. We wish now that we had considered all of our options many years ago, that we could have acted on this sooner, but life has its own way of showing you how. Sometimes this journey requires detours along the way, so keep listening to your feelings and take action when something isn't right, and trust that life is working on your journey and will get you where you want to be:)